LIKE this comic, because your friends are doing it, and that’s how peer pressure works.

Apparently, some cinemas in the UK were offering refunds and eventually put up warnings that Best Picture nominee “The Artist” is a silent film. Seems a bit sad to me; a disheartening indicator of modern moviegoing sensibilities, but ah well. I haven’t managed to drag my butt to see the flick yet, so maybe I shouldn’t pass judgement on those that have (even if they asked for their money back, ’cause it ain’t got no talkin’).

So, as mentioned briefly in a previous post, I saw the “Tintin” movie. I was very excited by everything leading up to this one. Two of my favourite people, Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead”/”Hot Fuzz”/”Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”) and Stephen Moffat (“Doctor Who”/”Sherlock”) contributed to the screenplay and it was directed bySteven Spielberg(Seriously? You want his filmography?). The first fifteen minutes are very encouraging. There’s an exceptional animated opening credits sequence and the first scene that follows does a great job of introducing Tintin as a character and setting up the central mystery. But the movie gradually falls apart as this mystery becomes overcomplicated. Tintin (Jamie Bell) initially seems like a cool guy, a globetrotting reporter with a thirst for adventure. I can dig that. But his personality is completely bland. All of his dialogue is used to remind the audience of the mystery, and why a clue is significant, why he’s looking for the next clue, etc. As a result, there’s no dialogue left to distinguish him as a character. He’s just a blank slate, with no discernible personality.

Tintin’s buddy is Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), and his personality is front and centre. The problem is, he’s a complete stereotype. He’s an alcoholic Scottish sailor. That’s it. He’s got unusual expressions and a tragic backstory, but his main gist is that he’s always drunk, he’s dumb and he’s Scottish.

The movie’s got ambition to be sure. There’s one chase scene that shows you what happens when you tellSteven Spielbergthat he’s got a magical camera that can go ANYWHERE for as LONG as he wants (leading to a single shot that must be more than five minutes long and features a tank, a hawk, amotorcycle, a burst dam and a bazooka). Also, Simon Pegg (“Spaced”/”Star Trek”) and Nick Frost (“Kinky Boots”/”Attack the Block”) are in it, but their “pickpocket” side story seemed utterly pointless and failed to entertain. Daniel Craig is also in it, playing a ridiculous parody of a villain (evil beard? Yep. Aforementioned hawk? Yep).

At any rate, I didn’t care about the protagonists, so I didn’t really give a crap about the movie, overall. It wasn’t a complete misfire, but it sure felt like an opportunity was squandered.

Google Led You Here: “Wisdom Teeth Comic” How did you know about the upcoming story arc where Mindy can only eat ice cream for a week? Recipe for hilarity, I says.